Peter 1:9 (NIV) – “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”
All of us have had to handle difficulties with family, friends, or others. Misunderstandings, differences of opinion, and even differences of beliefs have caused friction and bad feelings between those who normally love and care for one another. We see verse after verse directing forgiveness over retribution. Love over hate. Too often, we get entrenched in our viewpoint either because of self-righteousness, ego, or stubbornness.
I’m as guilty as anyone else. I have to step back, breathe, and refocus my thoughts on what we’ve called “taking the high road.” More accurately, I have to fall back on an old saying we used when I was young – WWJD – “what would Jesus do.” In some instances, my first thought is to act, to defend, to attack. Take whatever it is head-on. WWJD? Well, I’m ready to kick over some tables and verbally smack someone upside the head. (These are the thoughts that are reflected in my “Footprints in the Sand,” and you see that set of footprints straying off into the surf.) My mom called it the “Russell temper.”
I’ve learned to stand back, take a breath. I know that that initial reaction will serve no good purpose. It may be emotionally satisfying initially, but that will evaporate as soon as the impact of my words and actions plays out. My experience has been that it is never a good outcome. So, I take time to reflect. I remember a verse that sat framed on my desk at work for 40 years. It has been a touchstone of my life. Micah 6:8 – “…To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
And I’ve found that taking that path is much harder than just acting out. It requires me to take insight into my own emotions and mental awareness. Look into those dark recesses of the mind that are very uncomfortable to explore. Looking in the mirror can reveal things I’d rather continue to ignore.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Doing this with ourselves is hard enough. It calls for self-forgiveness that we find hard to give or accept. Trying to do that with someone else can be intimidating, daunting, and unnerving. We may not understand the conflict. The animosity confuses us. It’s easier to just walk away. You have to focus on the other person. Try to understand their hurt. Their reason for their actions. Try to sound the depths of their pain. Difficult even with those you are not in conflict with. Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly. But we have to sound those depths if we hope to come to forgiveness.
Colossians 3:13 (NIV) – “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
I’ve also come to understand that forgiveness is founded on kindness. The Oxford dictionary defines kindness as: the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. Each of us needs to strive to make kindness the foundation of our being. All things we do for each other, to each other, and receive from each other must find kindness as the source. I believe that starting from kindness multiplies the chances for success and the positive outcome sought. Plus, random acts of kindness not only to those you know, but to strangers, are a terrific boost to your own well-being. (And it’s just FUN!)
“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.” – Albert Schweitzer
For me, kindness is an expression of love. It is the love that Jesus Christ called for all of us to live. Love for each other. Love for the stranger. Love for the outcast. You know how it goes.
And as we conclude our Extravagant Generosity campaign, we must remember to carry the precepts we’ve learned going forward. As Robert Schnase wrote about those who practice extravagant generosity: “They grow in the grace of giving. They learn. They take small steps until generosity becomes natural. They deepen their understanding of giving through prayer and Scripture, and they foster generosity in others. They give more now than in the past, and will give more in the future than they do today.”
“As with filling a pitcher drop by drop, there is at last one that makes it flow over, so it is, that, in a series of kindnesses, there is finally one that makes the heart flow over.” – Ray Bradbury
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Bill Russell
Board of Directors, Treasurer
Bill@ResurrectionMCC.org